| Brandon Davis, known only for being the rich ex-boyfriend of Keds and Neutrogena spokesperson (oh wait I think she might be an actress too), Mischa Barton, was covered making several references to Lindsay Lohan's Crotch. He proceeded to discuss how he would never "fuck" Lindsay, but that he finds her father to be more attractive.
Davis continued his verbal tirade against Lindsay making references to her "mariachi" boyfriend (Wilmer Valderamma) as amateur porn actress Paris Hilton (oh and I think she's heir to some fortune) ran to catch up with him laughing all the way. I don't know what's worse, the fact that she found his sophomoric comments funny or the fact that she ran after him like a little dog.
Davis then mentioned how he thinks that Lohan is "worth about 7 million which means she's really poor it's disgusting, she lives in a motel in new york"...Hmmm...7 Million dollars eh? SMELLS LIKE 7 MILLION DOLLARS MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER MAKE!
Paris Hilton then added that Lindsay Lohan's movie bombed...Not everyone's movie can do as well as your porn did.
I think that what bothers me most about Brandon Davis and Paris Hilton is that the growth of their vocabulary must have been stunted at the age of thirteen. Davis used the word "pussy" so much it was as though he heard a kid in the cafeteria say it and finds it necessary to repeat...over and over again.
How anyone dated this child (cough cough Mischa) is beyond me.
The moral here is clear kids, inherited wealth does not buy you class, maturity, or a sense of humor. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| Yeah so I think I can't ignore the fact that when Kaavya Viswanathan (19 year old Harvard sophomore and author of 'How Opal Mehta Got Kissed Got Wild and Got a Life") was exposed for having lifted several (45 according to the New York Times)lines out of Megan McCafferty's novels from 2001 I could actually hear the sigh of relief coming from every brown person between the ages of 17-23. The author's folly saved us all from the comparison drawing that would have resulted from this Indian 19 year old's success. Not only did she get a $500,000 book deal but Dreamworks also bought the rights to her book. Unfortunately for Kaavya, copying a book (45 times) is about a thousand times worse than claiming it's a memoir a la James Frey. I dare her to go on Oprah. Kaavya claims that she must have "internalized" McCafferty's novels as she had read them several times before and didn't realize that she had unintentionally lifted several phrases from McCafferty's books. Part of me believes her, only because you'd have to be extremely stupid to think that you wouldn't get caught especially when both her book and McCafferty's books are in a similar genre of books. The other part of me thinks she's a liar because it's one thing to internalize an author's words or ideas...but the passages (all 45 of them) match word for word... James Frey looks like an angel now.
Today I went shopping for a dress for formal. I realize that it's last minute but my laziness caught up to me. However in 1 hour I was able to amass 4 dresses, only 1 of which I will keep. How was I able to accomplish such a feat you ask? When going through racks of dresses based on size it's important to look through all the dresses. Momma didn't raise no fool...I know where people are hiding the good dresses. Anyways hopefully shoes won't be a problem.
The other night I was standing outside of Palladium waiting for Sidra when a man said hello to me. I realized that it would be rude to completely ignore a friendly hello so I repliced "hiiiiii". Well regardless of the pouring rain this hi made him stop walking and decided to chat with me. He asked me where my skin was from (as if my skin were a pair of shoes and he was a girl who wanted to buy a pair). He asked if it (my skin) was from India, I told him no. He then asked me if I knew where Park Slope Brooklyn was and I said yes. He then told me that he has an apartment there, a studio apartment in fact and wanted to know if he could have my number so that he could invite me over. I said no. I don't understand why any man would think that within less than five minutes of chit chat I would want to come to their apartment. Next time I won't say 'hi' I'll do the nod.
Okay I'm getting kind of tired now....so this entry is done. The moral you ask? Don't plagiarize the media will fry your ass and your career will be ruined at the tender age of 19. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Yeah so the other night I went out with Anjali, Krupa and Kinna and this Devil came up to me and said "Hey wanna dance" and I was like "no" and he was like "If you don't dance with me you're going to hell". This is why Halloween is a horrible time to go out.I think I would have responded better to a joker saying "Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight" I'm a sucker for Batman movies...Later on this guy came up to me and asked "Is it okay if I dance with you and your friends?" and I was like "what's your halloween costume"...it was obvious this man had no costume unless he was being a prep...and he was like "I don't have one what's your costume you're not wearing one either" and i was like "Oh I'm really a man"...and then he got offended and told me that it was a low blow to say that and that there are better ways of telling someone you don't want to dance with them. Seriously people have no sense of humor...
Also I have a theory, I think that all the 30 somethings come out on Halloween...it's their time to shine...Seriously no matter where you go you'll see a handfull of 30 somethings
So yesterday I was swiping into the subway and the train had already been there for a little bit and this man held the door open when i was still swiping my metrocard just for me! It was like the nicest thing anyone on the subway has ever done for me. Except that time that man asked me for five dollars and then offered to take me out to eat wherever I wanted to go....
The moral of this story is that chivalry is very much ALIVE! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I hate people who take that "5 minutes" at express printing literally or ignore it completely. "5 minutes" doesn't mean take your time it means move yo ass. People who edit papers on express printing computers make me cringe...I actually have a physical reaction to this common practice. Who the hell do these people think they are?
Today I was at the deli on the corner of 4th ave and 13th and this woman bought something and then decided to go outside and light a cigarette and then come in and pay for whatever it was she bought. She was smoking her freaking cigarette inside the deli. Then she apologized to the person she was on the phone with for putting her on hold when she was paying. It's like are you fucking serious? What an asshole.
Anyways last night I was at the Taco Bell on 3rd avenue and I got a cheese quesadilla. When the guy behind the counter gave it to me I was like "is there sauce in this?" and he was like "there's always sauce don't worry there is always sauce" and I was like "you know sometimes there isn't sauce and then I am sad" and he was like "we always put sauce!". I probably shouldn't make the taco bell on 3rd avenue pay for the mistakes made by the ones on 6th avenue and on 14th. What can I say I have trust issues when it comes to Taco Bell putting the sauce in my quesadilla. When you expect consistency between taco bells and then you don't get that you get burned.
That's all for now. The moral? 5 minutes really means print your shit as fast as you can and if you edit your papers on express printing...ya dirty. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| First I'd like to just say that this rain is not a joke. Yesterday my feet were wet and squishy in my shoes for over 10 hours. It's a wonder I'm not deathly ill.
Anyways yesterday I went to home depot on 23rd to get staple guns for me and ben. I got totally destroyed in the rain. However, I must say that Home depot is really super nice. Much nicer than the ones in New Jersey. It's well lit and it has foliage and pretty pretty things. The staff is super nice too...I had like three people assisting me...I'll take it as being friendly and not them assuming I don't know where shit is cause i'm a girl.
The other night I was walking home from work and I was on the phone with Kinna and this homeless man comes up to me and he's all like pointing in one direction and like "west 3rd and broadway" and so I was like "thank you!" and he was like "no problem you just go over there". I did not ask this man for directions but he gave them to me. So I guess sometimes you get things you don't ask for.
I had red velvet cake tonight....I went in this rain...If that isn't love I don't know what is. Honestly that cake is so freaking amazing. Feld says I'm the queen of hype...but I think that on this occasion I'm underhyping.
The moral of this story? If you're ever lonely go to home depot and pretend you're looking for stuff...the company of their employees is not so bad.
p.s I think I'll update my photo site this week...I mean why not it's effing raining out... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Kanye West "Heard em Say" | | Subject: | Garba is A-OK! | | Time: | 03:22 pm |
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Last night I went to my very first Garba with Anjali, Nekee, Karl, Krupa, and Nick and let me tell you it was seriously the best time ever! I had so much fun it won't be my last garba. Sri Lankans should totally have garbas. All the music and dancing was so much fun. I really can't describe it. But yeah Garba is A-OK. Also, mad props to Bunty who is a man of many talents and can hold it down. I'll also send a shout out to my garba idol, Krupa. This girl is the garba queen. Congratulations to Anjali for winning the bet:). And special thanks to Nekee for letting me borrow an outfit.
I've also decided to add pictures to my journal entries since my website is just too annoying to update.
Anyways that's all for now...The moral of this story? If there's a garba go it's seriously so much fun. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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It's like I'm walking home from class minding my own business and then famous (or if you're brown infamous) bollywood actor Salman Khan is all like up in my sidewalk. So naturally I had to take a picture with him. You know what he's really short in person. Sidra and I decided a while ago that Bollywood movies give brown guys unrealistic expectations of their future wives. So Salman Khan being old, short, and on the brink of balding makes me realize that those women in Bollywood movies are probably not at all what they seem like on film. I mean it's no secret that they wear a ton of makeup and avoid anything remotely sexual that could tarnish their pure image...I bet in real life they are withering old sluts. That's something to think about. Whatever I still like it when they dance.
Oh wait, for those of you who don't know who salman khan is he's in a ton of movies you could imdb him. He also was jailed for killing protected animals...and he also killed a man by running him over. Yeah so that's why I say infamous.
Okay that's seriously it for now. The moral of this story? Don't expect your future spouses to be similar to those found in bollywood movies because you will be sorely disappointed. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| Yeah so guess what everyone I think I'm on the verge of a gambling addiction. Over the summer my mom would be like 'go buy a lottery ticket' and I would even though I never won. Anyways I didn't buy any lottery tickets when I came back to school until a friend of mine told me how he just bought his and that got me in the game again. Granted I only bought one lotto ticket, lost, and then didn't buy another. Anyways the other day I was starving and all I had was credit so in order to reach the $10 minimum at the deli across from work I bought 3 scratch offs and I actually won $10. Now, whenever I see a deli that sells lottery tickets I have to tell myself not to go in and buy scratch offs. It doesn't help when my mom totally supports my gambling. Maybe I should never even tempt the idea of internet poker or casinos...We'll see how I cope.
I'm also hopelessly in love with red velvet cake from Buttercup Bake Shop. It's the most delicious thing I've ever had in my entire life. I think that red velvet cake is everything that is good in the world put into a 3 layered piece of perfection. Wow just thinking about it is getting me all hot and bothered.
Okay so I'm reading this book for class and in it they say how the experiences of "Hindi Indians, Muslim Afghanis, Catholic Mexicans and Buddhist Chinese"...so clearly they are making a commentary on different groups and their religions...Why the author decided to say "Hindi" instead of "Hindu" is beyond me. However tomorrow the author will be in class so do I take this as an opportunity to correct her or what? Is Hindi a valid way of saying a Hindu person? I don't think so. However, bringing up this criticism may not be applicable to class discussions we'd have about the book. I don't know what I'm going to do.
This story is so over and once again the moral is clear...If you have to reach a credit card minimum at a deli buy candy bars not scratch offs. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Today I was leaving Palladium and as I exited from the back turnstile thing I got yelled at by a random woman. She was like "You didn't swipe you need to swipe when you leave" so I was like "okay" and I kept walking toward the door and she wouldn't let me go past her until I went back and swiped. Honestly fuck her and the very nerve she had to tell me what to do. I pay to live here biatch and if I don't want to be tracked by NYU I can make that choice. I vow to never swipe out of palladium unless I am going to swipe into another building. That bitch just mad cause she ugly.
Yeah so the other week I was approached by a man. He told me his name but then his friends called him by another name and when I looked at his ID later in the night I realized that he had yet another name. Despite this confusion he wasn't horrible at holding a decent conversation. In fact his forwardness was rather attractive. These days (and many of us have come to this conclusion) girls chase guys. Guys are too busy playing freaking halo to even notice that a girl gives a damn. Anyways, he was like "I'm not into playing games so I'm going to ask you for your number" I told him that was fine. Why shouldn't I give this non halo playing man a chance. He then said "And I'm not going to wait three days to call you I'm going to call you tomorrow" so i was like "cool". Anyways...Tomorrow came and he joined me and my friends at a friend's birthday party at La Caverna.
Now I don't know what exactly happened but while there he accused me of playing games (the very games he said he wasn't into playing) but excuse me if breathing is a game! He then asked me if I'd still be talking to him if he wasn't a Doctor (newsflash man of many names, you're not a doctor, you're a resident). Naturally I was offended by this comment not only because the accusation implies several things:
1. I'm a gold digger (get down girl go ahead get down) 2. I see a distant future with this man 3. that I'm not the 21 Single and Fabulous biatch i thought i was but a marriage hungry old maid! Well you can just imagine how wrong he is because 1. I'm not a gold digger, chubby chaser yes, gold digger no...plus residents make like $5 an hour. 2.I can't even plan out an outfit more than five minutes before I put it on let alone think about my future with a man of like five names! and 3. I actually am 21 single and fabulous...
Anyways needless to say that was the end of that. It's like when that kid in Stern asked Melania if she'd be with Donald Trump if he wasn't rich and she replied "would he be with me if I wasn't pretty"... I can honestly say that I'd still talk to that guy if he wasn't a doctor but he probably wouldn't talk to me if I was busted.
So yeah that weekend I was at La Caverna. It's no secret that I often end up at La Caverna, enough times in fact that I was fully aware that the DJ there plays the same ass songs in the same order every night. Well the other Friday night I decided something had to be done about this DJ. I don't know what annoys me more...the fact that he played the same songs and in the same order every night, or the very idea that this man comes out every night to stand behind a DJ booth and go through the motions of actually mixing music when in reality the man is just holding his headphones up to his ear and moving his hands around. It's a very sad sight. Anyways I wrote a text on my phone that said "you play the same songs in the same order every night" and showed it to him. He then asked me "How do you know?" and i was like "OMG everyone knows" and then he was like "who else knows?" and I was like "EVERYONE"....anyways he promised to switch it up a little but he couldn't possibly switch up a mix cd...how does one switch up music when they are so used to just bobbing around? Later on when I was getting further annoyed by his adherence to his playlist I wrote the text "We knew that was coming" in reference to the change of song and showed it to him. Needles to say that bitch is so scared right now...I really should go back to see if my words have changed his playlist.
Yeah so the other night I went to Food Emporium with Sebanti. While in line Sebanti decided to go get pretzels and a man came and lined up behind me. As I was getting closer and closer to checking out I looked in the direction of the aisles for Sebanti. Thanks to my peripheral vision I was able to notice that the odd man behind me was gesturing a triangle which he made with his fingers entriangling his crotch. Good thing I'm extremely good at pretending not to notice. I then turned back to look the other way and he stopped. A minute later I turned again to look for Sebanti and he made a triangle around his crotch. I didn't know if he was trying to play some bootleg malcolm in the middle circle game. However, unlike the circle game, of which I am an avid fan, I was not interested in playing with this strange man.
The other day I was walking up University and this girl nearly knocked over this 2 feet tall child. What irked me more than the fact that this woman nearly injured a child was the fact that she was wearing Lily Pulitzer pants. I didn't think that anyone wearing Lily Pulitzer pants could harm a child. I guess I was wrong. Maybe I am the only one who thinks that Lily Pulitzer pants are motherly? Hmmm whatever.
Anyways I think that the moral of this story is clear...if you go to La Caverna and you walk in at like 12am and Mojo's "Lady" is playing...beat the shit out of the DJ. | | comments: 12 comments or Leave a comment |
| Yesterday I hung out with Kinna and we went to the Jamba Juice on 23rd and 5th ave. This Jamba has a sitting area so while we were sitting down this man comes in with one of those wheel things that you use to move boxes and stuff and he had a crate on it. He then sat down with the crate and just sat there for a while. Then out of no where he put a big plant (belonging to Jamba Juice) in the crate and left with it. This man underhandedly yet very obviously stole a plant from Jamba Juice. It was so random. Karl if you do not believe me Kinna was there too.
Okay so the other day I was talking to this med student and she was talking about how she got into Albert Einstein but she didn't go cause she really really didn't like it. So I was like "why didn't you like it?" and she was like "There were so many Jews there, everyone just looked really Jewish"...It was so out of nowhere! This girl was so nice and sweet and I didn't see it coming at all so naturally my face just dropped in shock. She said that since she's from Texas she's not familiar with Jews. It was sooo awkward. It was said so casually. I didn't know what to say.
The moral of this story? Sometimes you just can't smile and nod. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Today NYU Housing called to tell me they accidentally let someone move into mine and Claire's room at Palladium. The girl then went to the Dominican Republic and won't be back until September 2nd and so they asked if either of us would be okay with moving in after that. Hahaha that's really funny. I'm not moving in late my last semester at NYU especially since orientation week is the best week ever. Anyways I'm still moving in on Sunday and so is Claire so they are basically going to move this girl's stuff out... which is a really awkward situation for them. They could get sued. Feels good not to be in their shoes.
Yeah so on Missy Elliot's The Cookbook, she has this intro thing which I find to be very derogatory toward Asians. She has someone pretend to be an Asian manicurist and has them say "ching chong ching" blah blah blah. It's total crap and I think it makes her look like an asshole. Her album isn't good either, and this is coming from someone who really tries to see the good in EVERYTHING. It's a good thing I stole this album...It's in situations like this where you get a really warm feeling from internet piracy.
So I read in Esquire magazine that they purchased a floor in the Astor Place building. First I must say HOTTT. Apparently the magazine is going to outfit the floor with all the most refined and distinguished everything. It's probably going to be the hottest floor in the building. I want in! However I'm confused if they are making it a residence or an office. Either way sounds good to me.
Also in Esquire magazine (we get it for free, I don't subscribe to it, but it is entertaining) they have this guy Neil Strauss who wrote a book on pick up artists from whom he learned several techniques for picking up women (in a previous article Britney Spears gave him her phone number I don't know if that says a lot...or very little).
Anyways he outlines several rules for picking up women. In Step 2 "Raise Your Status" he tells men to make it seem like the woman is chasing you by giving her backhanded compliments..."Wow, your palms are sweaty" "I like that skirt. Those are really popular these days", "Gum? No really. You should" and "You don't get out that often, do you?". In a weird way I think that would work on me. I'd be intrigued by such backhanded compliments....he also says "Don't focus only on her when she's with other people. If you win over her friends, you'll win her" That's so true. If my friends think that you are cool I will too, I'm so impressionable.
One of the things that Neil Strauss says to do is to use truisms to make an emotional connection with the woman you are approaching. One example he gives is to say: "You were born with unconditional love, but that unconditional love was found to have conditions". I think that's crap...don't say crap like that.. he has other examples he learned from boardwalk psychics.
Needless to say when his book finally comes out I'm so buying it.
Wow that was a long entry. What'd we learn here? Backhanded compliments = the way to go!
On a sidenote whenever that line in P.M Dawn's Set Adrift on Memory Drift talking about Christina Applegate comes on I giggle. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So last night I went out with Lindsay, Shari, and Shari's friend Caroline to the Famish Frog in Morristown NJ. This would be the first time I've ever set foot in a bar in New Jersey. Anyways we all go in and they check our ID's at the door, and Lindsay, who neglected to renew her license, although she is 21 was turned away because she used an expired driver's license.
So Lindsay and I left while Shari went to the bathroom and we were waiting outside on the street...Then out of no where the bouncer comes outside. Let me try to give you an accurate description of this bouncer...he was probably 24 years old, went to college but it just wasn't his thing, he doesn't have a day job, unless you consider lifting weights and drinking protein shakes a day job, and at night he took great pleasure in exercising his authority in a bar in Morristown NJ. If this doesn't paint a sad picture to you, it will one day. Anyways he comes outside and he started yelling at Lindsay "Listen I'm not going to let you in the bar" ...This was all said while we were standing outside the bar obviously waiting for our friends...To tell us that he wasn't going to let us in the bar he actually came outside, he stepped off of his little stool to have a little chit chat with us. He then told us that it was the oldest trick in the book to use an expired license blah blah blah...The sad part is that he was actually yelling at us. It was so out of nowhere. We weren't even trying to go back in...It's a good thing we didn't go home right away he probably would have hopped in his car and followed us to tell us that he wasn't going to let us in.
Anyways then we went to the Office and the bouncer said no to Lindsays' real but expired NJ drivers license and then asked her if she had a fake id he could see...So she gave that to him and he took it away. The man asked for it and then took it away. Where do you get off NJ?! Also it's funny cause Lindsay is 21 getting her fake i.d taken away...
Then we ended up at some place I don't know the name of. We had to pay a cover for a cover band...And they played rap and reggaeton and stuff in the basement...Which we only found out later but it was fun...
I think this experience has several morals:
3rd time is in fact a charm
Morristown NJ cards hard...real hard.
Renew your license at your earliest convenience
If turned away from the Famish Frog exit and leave the area immediately before you get lectured on the oldest trick in the book. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| The other day we were at this community center giving a lecture on diabetes. The center hosted a luncheon and provided lunch complete with dessert. The dessert was cheesecake and when offered a piece I declined at first, doubting that a piece of cheesecake at an event that dealt with health could possibly be tasty. However when the lady who organized the event pushed the cheesecake on me I realized that at that point it would be rude to say no. The first bite was awful...Let me try to describe to you the taste...It was like sour cheese with lemon with the shape and appearance of cheesecake. It was not sweet at all...and allegedly it contained splenda. They might tell you that splenda is a sugar derivative...but if that's true it's the sugar derivative from hell...Every bite was so horrible. I began thinking to myself "why does this always happen to me!" I remember when my aunt made me eat a plateful of really spicey food and I had to finish it no matter how many glasses of water it took...and then finally when I was done...she piled on some more food...which I finished again, and then she did it again...and I started to cry...I was 13 years old. For some reason this cheesecake event reminded me of that episode. At first I figured out a plan, I'd take one bite every minute and that way I'd be done in like 10 minutes or so. However, with the first minute I realized that I could eat no more of this foul cake. However I was too worried that the woman who organized the event and who actually made the cake would see me throw it away. Finally I threw caution into the wind and just got up and threw the cake away. I really cannot describe the position I was in. It was horrible.
Later on I was on the subway and the woman sitting across from me dropped all her change on the floor. First let me describe the t-shirt she was wearing....it was an oval shaped face with no facial features save a mouth with braces, the metal kind. The face on the shirt also had hair in pigtails...so it's like a head with pig tails and a mouth with braces and nothing else. Anyways, the woman dropped her change on the floor...and all of a sudden she started saying "You stupid blind bitch you fucking whore you're such a slut dropped all your change on the floor what a dumb bitch you are"...It took me a few minutes to realize that the woman was talking to herself. Later on she started calling herself a whore and then threatened to tear up her own money and throw it on the floor again. Anyone of us could really be her in a few years if we were to go insane. I also shouldn't exploit mentally ill people the way Tom Cruise does...so I'll stop.
Okay that's all for now. I think that the moral of this story is that if something has splenda in it...RUNNNNNNNNN! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Common "Faithful" | | Subject: | Awkwardddddd | | Time: | 12:08 am |
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| Yeah so the other day I was driving on a residential road and there was a dog taking a shit in the middle of the road and I couldn't really get around it cause there were parked cars so I was basically waiting for the dog to finish taking a shit and then waiting for the owner to pick it up. If you consider this situation awkward you are CORRECT!
The other day I was on the F train and this man asked me for $5 when he was clearly holding hundreds of dollars in his hand...Did he need the five dollars to buy a wallet? He then offered to take me out to dinner anywhere I wanted to go no matter how expensive. It was like 4 o'clock...Do I look like a senior citizen...please I just ate lunch. Plus was the "Do you have $5?" a clever pick up line that I still do not understand. Is it attractive to ask for money that you clearly do not need as an excuse to talk to someone on the train? Next time start with the time buddy.
Also when I told him "no thank you" he told me I was really mean. People are crazy.
Last Monday I was in the basement of the hospital and the morgue is down there. They don't even try to make the morgue look friendly or inviting...This man walked past me and he unlocked the door to the Morgue and went inside leaving the door open behind him. Naturally out of curiousity I walked past and looked inside only to have the man come out and say "I SEE DEAD PEOPLE".
Yeah so apparently there's going to be some reversal of the obsoleteness of the personal cd player...Sony is making CD's that you can't import into itunes and put on your ipod! So if you happen to be Dave Matthews Band or Foo Fighters Fans don't get rid of your sony discman just yet...It's totally making a comeback.
Wow I haven't updated for a really long time...so I feel semi obligated to tell you more odd or random things that have happened...However I haven't the time!
The moral of this story? I don't have $5 to give...I can give you the time though. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Right so the other day I was watching the morning news and they were showing that woman who most recently slept with her student (I say most recently because apparently it's a fantasy of many a female teacher to sleep with their 14 year old students). The lawyer was talking in her defense by saying "You cannot put a woman this attractive in prison look at her she is too attractive for prison that would be like throwing her to the dogs"...I don't know which law school this man went to...probably one in L.A..but no one is too attractive for prison...in fact in America looks have nothing to do with whether you go to jail or not. I'm sure there are tons of hot convicts...I mean Christian Slater has been in prison! He also tried to plead an insanity defense for her stating "Come on who in their right mind would sleep with a student?!"...does this man live in a box? Several teachers have been caught! I swear this man is going to get fired.
In other news I was on the path train the other day and this woman took a mannequin head out and started doing its hair. She didn't pay to get on the train (she jumped the turnstile) so I figured that I could watch her. Sometimes I think that they purposely put odd people on subway trains just so that it's a challenge not to stare at them. Also all the ads on the train were really boring and I would have taken my book out but I was already listening to my headphones and I was just too lazy. The woman then put what looked like vegetable oil on the manequin head and then put some of its hair in curlers....She must have been in beauty school...but it was really odd.
Okay so I'm done...I realize I haven't updated in a long time and I actually do have more to say but I'm really too lazy so the moral of this story is that no one is too attractive for prison...if people were then really hot people would steal and stuff cause they'd never get jail time...yeah so hire your lawyers wisely...cause this woman is totally going to jail cause of that comment... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Yeah so today I get on the train to Hoboken and this kid was sitting in the seat in front of me...like a baby that could walk but was less than 2 feet tall...and he just kept staring at me over the seat and then he ripped my ticket out of the holder so I looked shady....Then later I was at this pizza place in Brooklyn and this kid turned around and watched me while I ate my pizza even though his mom was like "don't watch other people eat it's rude!" yes it is rude....2 hours later I got on the subway and that same damn kid was staring at me again. Mothers you need to teach your kids not to stare at strangers...
Okay so that song on Z100 that plays everytime I get in my car or in a drugstore really needs to go...That damn "Listen to your heart" bullshit is the worst song I have ever heard in my entire life...Honestly if you ever see me just ask me to turn on Z100 and I promise you that song will be playing. It stalks me and it is relentless! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT...
On a more humorous note I think Game's song "Dreams" is really hilarious especially this part:
I had dreams of f**kin' an R'n'B bitch like Mya
When I saw dat ass on a front of that King
Read the article in a magazine
She loved gangsters, loved nasty things
So I'm the glass house havin' nasty dreams!
Good girls neva' give it up
But anything gets possible ,if 50 f**ked Vivica
Heard of life's obstacles,found my way through the maze
I hardly think the fact that 50 cent "fucked" Vivica Fox opens the door for others. Really inspiring...
Anyways that's all for now I'm tired and I want to sleep...the moral of this story? Z100 needs to stop playing that damn song before I lose my mind like Tom Cruise. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Yah so I was watching Six Feet Under which is like the only show I follow religiously...and I'm watching it and my dad comes into the room and he's just talking to me and then of course two of the characters, both male, decided to go at it in a bathroom and my dad is standing there and he's like 'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING?!'....of course I was so embarassed and scared so the only thing I could think to say was "dad people are gay deal with it" but he wasn't having any of that and he turned it off.
The moral of the story is there is nothing more awkward than parents in the same room with you during a GAY sex scene. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Smashing Pumpkins "Muzzle" | | Time: | 09:40 pm |
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| JUST GIVE THE MAN HIS STARS! Why Tom Cruise should stop ruining his career, and why the Birkin bag can say goodbye to its title as THE status handbag...
So I went to ragshop today to look for a plain t-shirt. While I was there this is the conversation I overheard between a middle aged man and an old woman who works in the store.
Man: I WANT STARS ALL KINDS OF STARS
Saleswoman: oh okay, well we have these foam stars
Man: IT'S NOT ENOUGH! I NEED A LOT OF STARS ALL KINDS OF STARS
Saleswoman: Well what about stars that look like this
Man: I want stars that look like a Mack truck ran over them
Saleswoman: Oh, smushed as it were!
Man: Yes I want the kind of stars that the nuns would put atop a xmas tree at church
Saleswoman: Oh see I wouldn't know about that
Man: Okay I want the kind of star a rabbi would wear around his neck! I WANT STARS
I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
So Tom Cruise has completely lost his mind. Every other day he pulls some media stunt where he offends either another celebrity or a pseudo celebrity, or psychiatrists. Today he got all angry with Matt Lauer on the Today show. He called Lauer "Glib" and told him he didn't know anything about psychiatry. Listen Tom, I understand that you're the posterboy for Scientology and all but stop talking about it in all your interviews! Or if you won't stop I think that the media should just do the ol' smile and nod routine cause Tom is crazy.
So the Hermes store in Paris denied Oprah entry when she arrived 15 minutes after the store closed with her entourage. Oprah said it was the most humiliating moment of her life, she won't ever shop there again, and also cancelled her order for a $50,000 birkin bag, her 10th or 11th one. I don't know whether or not this will ruin the Birkin bag's status or up it to a whole new level of desiredom. I mean OPRAH couldn't get into the store! However Oprah has more power than God and if she says no to Birkin others may follow.
Okay that's it for now. The moral of this story is that when a man asks for STARS! he means business. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| So today I went to Circuit City to buy Billy Corgan's album but they didn't have any more copies! I also looked for the Pumpkin's Machina the Machines of God album but they didn't have any copies of that either. Then I went to Borders and they had Billy Corgan's album, but for $16...Hello! It was totally released yesterday...albums are supposed to be cheap right when they are released...and they didn't have Machina the Machines of God album either ...so then I went to Best Buy which had the Billy Corgan album for $12 which is acceptable, but no Pumpkins Machina the Machines of God! So I had to come home and steal it off the internet, or rather have my brother steal it for me. Hilary Rodham Clinton once said "It takes a village to raise a child" and I couldn't agree more. I also think it takes a shitload of horribly stocked music stores to raise an internet downloader. You see people it's not our faults it's theirs! I was ready and willing to pay for my music!
The verdict isn't out yet on how I feel about Billy Corgan's album. He does something with that androgynous voice of his in "Sorrows (in Blue)" that he has never done before. I also like his cover of the BeeGees "To Love Somebody". I don't understand his album picture choices. There is a picture of him without his shirt on...and I think he has some questionable birthmarks on his chest he should get checked out by a dermatologist.
Wachovia has decided to outsource a shitload of jobs to India. Damn you Wachovia...that's just what all the brown people need...another reason to be hated on by haters. I think an anti-defamation of brown people group should be formed that focuses on the hate generated by outsourcing.
Okay everyone that's it for now, I think the moral is clear today, internet downloading is a reaction to the lack of music available for purchase! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I picked up the July issue of Elle magazine with Lindsay Lohan on the cover the other day. I finally got to reading it and in Lindsay Lohan's interview she says, "Black guys love me --Damon (in reference to Damon Dash), P Diddy". Okay Lindsay, 2 black guys like you so they all do now. Black guys are just notorious for liking Lindsay Lohan. I bet they all watch Freaky Friday over and over again.
Billy Corgan released his first solo album today, I'll tell you how it is when I buy it tomorrow. Billy Corgan also told the media that he would like to reform the Smashing Pumpkins. While I totally support this decision, I realize that it will probably be in the far distant future, or it won't happen at all. Billy Corgan hasn't spoken to D'arcy or James Iha in over six years. If he however decides to form a White Stripeish Guitar and drum duo...well that he could do since he still talks to Jimmy Chamberlain. Whatever Billy I still love you.
I really don't understand this whole missing girl in Aruba business. The whole thing is sooo shady. No one is releasing any evidence or why they're holding the three boys in connection with the disappearance. They didn't even really attempt to look for the girl until a week after she went missing. I really think this is going to turn out like the Jonbenet Ramsey case...it's like the Jonbenet Ramsey case goes on vacation.
I don't know if that was tactless or not so the moral of this story is tactlessness happens. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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